Gadget News

In a darker period of my life, I was always trying to bone fat chicks. As outlandish as the claim may seem, I swear that I just could not keep my hands off these bitches like an Italian to pizza dough. It was bad. However, I always kept a certain level of standards that I followed dilligently:

1. Fatties must be under 300 pounds.

2. Must have a vagina.

Thanks to my rigorous standards and this beautiful, hand-crafted (my ass) wooden scale, I was able to weigh fatties in quicker than a New Jersey truck stop. At $60, the scale not only looked great but was also easily replaced when a bitch lied and told me she was 150. She ended up being 459 pounds and sometimes ballooning to 478 after buckets of KFC. I’m so ashamed.

Link (via)

Original post by Vince Veneziani